Mostly from sermons of S. Collins – LifePoint Church in Renton WA.
Three forgivenesses
1. God forgave us
2. We forgive ourselves
3. We forgive others
We all have pasts and mistakes. It would be nice to go back and do it differently but we can’t. We can only move forward.
Psalm 103: 8-14
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
“You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written: I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered” Mark 14:27 Peter disowns Jesus – 3 times after saying he won’t. Then he went outside and wept bitterly. Matthew 26: 69-75
Divorced once, twice, 3 times; abortions, affairs, lying, stealing, etc.. Being human we have pasts and have done many wrong things.
Understanding # 1. God has forgiven us. Let me say that again.. God has forgiven us. He has forgiven us for all our past, present and future sins.
Understanding # 2. Feeling forgiven is the real challenge. We are going to heaven but are miserable.. Why? The shackles are open and yet we stay where we are until we forgive ourselves.
If you hear yourself saying.. I know God forgives me but… then you haven’t forgiven yourself. Most likely:
1. You have a performance based mentality.. ie we have to earn forgiveness. – BUT YOU DON’T!
2. You are disappointed in yourself. Get over it. Move on.
3. You’ve learned to live in a guilt ridden life. Amazing but we adapt to feeling guilty. Quit it!
4. You expect you are going to keep repeating the same sin. This is stupid!
5. Other people keep reminding you of your failure. Tell them that is the old you.. Then don’t give it any energy. And learn to let it move into the past.
How can I begin to forgive myself?
1. Recognize the problem.
2. Repent of my sin.
3. Reaffirm my trust in God’s word.
4. Choose freedom to forgive myself. You are free – say it – I am Free!
Trust in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Live in fellowship with the Free.
Take on a new attitude, go in a new direction, move forward and choose to be free and realize you are a new person.
1 Cor 5: 17-19 Paul wrote.. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
Say it out loud.. “I am free!” “God loves me!” say that a few times and keep reminding yourself that it is true.
The past is in the past.. You are living in a new normal each day .. You are free and God loves you.
How could life be better than this?
Understanding #3 Forgiving Others.
Myths about Forgiveness:
1. Time heals all wounds. It doesn’t. It can fester and deepen the wound. Only when you make the right choices and turn to God does it heal.
2. I have to act like nothing happened. To minimize it is a sign of immaturity. I was hurt, deeply hurt, I see the truth and I forgive you is the road to healing.
3. Forgiveness = Trust. You give forgiveness but trust has to be earned. Don’t be stupid and trust on their word – check through their actions.
As humans – we can’t forget and erase it but we can choose to forgive and not focus on the sin.
When God says he will remember your sin no more.. I think this means – he puts forgiveness over the sin so it is covered.
The choice we make is to put it behind us – (think of sticking it behind your back) so it doesn’t discolor our current and new relationships with the person.
What attitudes keep you from forgiving?
1. We’re holding a grudge. This is like you drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die.
2. We feel sorry for ourselves. – Just Grow up!
3. We’re angry. – Experience the emotion of anger but then move on.
4. We’re afraid. – Maybe a valid concern because forgiving makes you vulnerable but you don’t have to trust them until they earn it.
5. We’re too proud. – Mark Twain – Temper gets you in trouble – Pride keeps you in trouble. Takes a mature person to overcome this.
6. We want revenge. – You don’t get ahead by trying to get even. How true.
7. We’re judgmental – We judge their outward actions but many times we use our inner motives to justify our actions. They can’t understand your heart and you don’t know theirs. Give them the benefit.
8. We’re insecure. – You can keep your walls up.. Be careful .. Forgive but make them reearn your trust.
9. We’ve “got our reasons” – Your reasons may be good ones but the better choice is to free yourself and forgive.
5 steps to Forgiveness:
1. Realize what God has done for you. He has forgiven you. Paid a debt that you couldn’t’ pay. Aren’t you grateful enough to forgive others? See Matthew 18: 28-35 below.
2. Realize that forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion. This is an important choice. Keep making good ones.
3. Undersand the consequences of your unforgiving heart. Gut check.. If I don’t forgive should God forgive me? Its like burning the bridge you have to walk across to get to God.
4. View the conflict as an opportunity for growth. Good can come out of this. God uses these kind of choices for your benefit.
5. Forgive the person Right Now. Withholding forgiveness destroys relationships and family growth and support. Forgive them in your heart and action.
The Lord’s Prayer is short but it includes being forgiven and forgiving others… asking him to forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…
As you read the below passage.. Keep in mind the King forgave the person who owed millions in todays $.. And yet that person then wasn’t willing to forgive someone who owed him a few $. This is what happens when God paid the price for all our sins and yet we aren’t willing forgive the sin someone commits against us.
Matthew 18: 21-35. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to 7 times? Jesus answered, “I tell you, not even 7 times but 77 times. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents (Millions of $ today) was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. Be patient with me he begged and I will pay back everything. The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii (few $). He grabbed him and began to choke him. Pay back what you owe me! He demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him. Be patient with me and I will pay you back. Be he refused. Instead he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. You wicked servant, he said. I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged to me. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart”.
God forgave us millions and we resist forgiving a few $. How stupid and cheap can we be?
Turned over to be tortured – I think means to be tormented emotionally and physically for not forgiving.. Drinking poison and expecting the other to get sick and die.. Keeps you hung up in the past and robs from the present and future.
This boils down to – we need to forgive whatever the sin is AND trust may be rebuilt over time. In any case it is just a little gratitude for what God has done for us.
Keep the bridge to God safe and secure.. Put out the fire of unforgiveness with the water of Loving thy neighbor as thy self for the love of God.